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[personal profile] stick_figure
Love is not a cliche bible passage to be read at your wedding by your best friend from second grade. Love is not a pushover. Love is not dispassionate. Love tries, sometimes it succeeds, and generally, it's worth it. Sometimes it fails and does not persevere. Doesn't mean it never was. The truth is necessary for love, and sometimes the truth is a messy, ugly thing that is not something in which to rejoice, but something to acknowledge and process. Love is in the middle of Maslow, not the foundation, not the high point. Love doesn't keep a balance sheet, but if it is too far out of balance, it suffers.

I am picturing Corinthians as a personals ad rant list of how not to be like someone's crazy ex. Love is this, not that, and it's also not a drunk, emo slut who criticizes my clothes and is a backseat driver!

I guess it's not that I don't find these worthy qualities to which we can aspire. But it's too easy to read and think about rainbows and unicorns, when actually, love is not inherently any of those things. If that's what love is, love doesn't exist except in fairy tales, and how sad is that? Love strengthens us, and we all need it. But it is not unconditional. I find a silly simile more palatable than the classic quotation. Love is like my car. (Yes, bicycle-philes, because while I like fair weather cycling more than driving, my car is cooler than my bike. Not the point I'm trying to make right now.) It's totally awesome and generally dependable, but it requires regular maintenance.
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Date: 2010-02-14 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stick-figure.livejournal.com
Yay! My standing 11:00 had to reschedule, so who knows I might even be early.

Date: 2010-02-14 07:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shooman.livejournal.com
I think of it as an ideal. A thing to aspire to. The thing about the bible is-- it tells what should be, not necessarily what humans can do. And also Christians have this thing where we try to love based on an example set for us years ago, we tend to agonize over our failures, and appreciate the fact that while in another era of life we might have been condemned, we have received a pardon.

We as humans fail a lot. We know this. We hate it but we accept that we are broken or become broken and we have to put ourselves back together. Become something better... again. And hope that our mistakes doesn't ruin our human relations or our images in society. There are human things that once broken, cannot be rebuilt.

Sorry... I shouldn't type so much. Can't seem to help it. I get your point though. Love in the human fallible form, is a crazy mind and heart wrenching thing.

shooman out

Date: 2010-02-14 08:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stick-figure.livejournal.com
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to knock Christianity here. Emphasis on the first sentence in the last paragraph of my post. The passage is just so overdone that I feel like people DON'T look at it as an aspiration. It is easy for people who don't get it to read that and say, "Oh, it didn't last forever, so it must not have been love." Or "She got mad and bitchy, so she doesn't really love me." All these points on what love and isn't doesn't take into account that love is active. And reactive.

Date: 2010-02-14 08:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shooman.livejournal.com
Agreed. =) It is what makes love so scary. Fearful that it'll be a reaction that makes them leave because you're just not good enough or a fit for them. Or fearful for what comes next. As things advance, what if it breaks down? What if it becomes not worth it? heh. Dratted mind.

shooman out
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Date: 2010-02-14 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shooman.livejournal.com
ROFL. I'm assuming you mean my comment? I don't know. I post all sorts of crazy things that I worry will hurt or be taken the wrong way. But I don't know how to communicate any differently and I hope everyone reads things I say with the understanding that I try to temper logic, compassion, and a devil's advocate mentality. I really do try to put myself in other's positions. But it's hard to block out one's personal views. One's mind will always limit oneself. It's one of those odd blessings and curses in life.

shooman out

Date: 2010-02-14 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swinehund.livejournal.com
This is a great post. I agree entirely.

Date: 2010-02-14 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skwidly.livejournal.com
Lovely. ;-)
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Date: 2010-02-14 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stick-figure.livejournal.com
lol I won't think less of you if you want to go on a deleting spree. Happy Valentine's Day and year of the Tiger. Wishing you lots of positive renewal. :)

Date: 2010-02-15 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miki-lou.livejournal.com
this is a great post! :)

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