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An amalgam of http://www.karenceliafox.com/Eating/recipe_texaschili.htm and http://kitchenscraps.ca/2009/08/15/chili-con-carnivore/

I don't think I have regular oil spray, so I used the baking stuff that has flour in it. In retrospect, after scrubbing burnt bits off the bottom, not such a great idea, but I figured it would help with the browning. Browned in batches and removed from pot: 1lb stew beef and 1lb ground sirloin. Add to pot 3c chopped onions and stir every few minutes until they're almost done. Add 2 chopped chipotles in adobo (this comes in a can and is a totally awesome addition to chocolate cake mix) and 1 chopped red bell pepper. Cook until peppers are softened and add 1/4c sugar and 6 cloves of thinly sliced garlic. Stir this a bit. If you don't mess up, you'll get an awesome caramelization. If you do mess up, pass it off as extra smoke flavor. :) Add 1c red wine.

Realize you have 4 brats in your freezer and you have developed an aversion to sausage. (The casing is always too tough.) Boil brats in a shallow amount of water until they aren't frozen. Cut in half and scrape out as much meat as you can. Finish cooking in a skillet with a few shakes of cocoa powder and flour. Yes, this will probably burn. Scrape it into the pot, add browned beef, 1/4c vinegar, 2T chili powder, 2T oregano, a bottle of Shiner bock, 2c water, and a handful of mushroom stock powder. Simmer for as long as you can stand. Thicken with a cornstarch slurry if it is still too runny. Serve with Fritos, cheese and lime.
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