Feb. 14th, 2010

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Love is not a cliche bible passage to be read at your wedding by your best friend from second grade. Love is not a pushover. Love is not dispassionate. Love tries, sometimes it succeeds, and generally, it's worth it. Sometimes it fails and does not persevere. Doesn't mean it never was. The truth is necessary for love, and sometimes the truth is a messy, ugly thing that is not something in which to rejoice, but something to acknowledge and process. Love is in the middle of Maslow, not the foundation, not the high point. Love doesn't keep a balance sheet, but if it is too far out of balance, it suffers.

I am picturing Corinthians as a personals ad rant list of how not to be like someone's crazy ex. Love is this, not that, and it's also not a drunk, emo slut who criticizes my clothes and is a backseat driver!

I guess it's not that I don't find these worthy qualities to which we can aspire. But it's too easy to read and think about rainbows and unicorns, when actually, love is not inherently any of those things. If that's what love is, love doesn't exist except in fairy tales, and how sad is that? Love strengthens us, and we all need it. But it is not unconditional. I find a silly simile more palatable than the classic quotation. Love is like my car. (Yes, bicycle-philes, because while I like fair weather cycling more than driving, my car is cooler than my bike. Not the point I'm trying to make right now.) It's totally awesome and generally dependable, but it requires regular maintenance.

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February 2010

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